


Refraction

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 11:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4136637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up may have just been the worst thing for Ventus. Everything is always so different on the other side of a lens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The tower was large. He was small. The stars were tinier, and the blue sky laced with orange and purple as the sun stayed eternally near the horizon. Aqua’s hand was firm around his own, and she was still babbling endlessly. “I thought I’d be in there forever... I promised you you’d wake up and here you are... Have you met Yen Sid? He’s very wise and calming...”

Ventus barely registered it with the second voice in his ear: “You look so much like Roxas. You know you should really meet Roxas... Oh and you should really meet Kairi I can’t place why but you remind me of her!”

Sora.

Not four years old.

Sixteen.

Six.

Fucking.

Teen.

Ventus didn’t think he’d been sleeping that long. It terrified him. Twelve years gone. Just... gone. They went away and he couldn’t get them back. Every stair they climbed felt like more of him sinking into the ground. More and more of Ventus being drained away.

By the time they reached the top Ventus was numb, and no one noticed the hollowness in his gaze. Donald and Goofy’s faces lit up. Yen Sid smiled and said something. Sora made some sort of introduction and a red haired girl he didn’t know squealed and tackled him. While Ventus almost toppled, he saw a man in the corner. Intense green eyes and a mane of ruby red hair giving him this odd look like he was watching a ghost.

In fact the girl backed up, saying some sort of introduction that was lost on Ven because he was watching the man approach. The tilted his head, “Uh... Interesting get up Rox-”

“It’s Ven,” the girl spoke up for Ventus, “this is Ven, Axel.”

“Lea,” he tiredly quipped back.

Lea.

Lea...?

LEA?!

Ventus held out his hand, looking over the old friend, “Lea...? L-Lea this... you...”

“Ven... huh.” Lea turned and began walking away, “Ok then... Not Roxas.”

“Lea! It’s me! Ven! Ventus?” Ventus continued after him.

“Name’s not ringing a bell, sorry.” Lea said.

Ventus grabbed his hand, “Hey! Y-you told me that inside people’s memories you could live forever, and you have t-the audacity to forget me?!”

Lea stopped, and looked back at Ventus.

Ventus looked around then asked, “Isa, what happened to Isa-”

Lea pulled his hand away, “Don’t wanna talk about it.” He brushed the back of his head, “Look, Ventus was it? I-I guess I’m starting to remember you but... A lot has changed.”

“Lea, we were friends-” Ventus’s stunned whine was cut short by a brutal truth.

“Kid, we met once. When I was young, and stupider than usual. And, I’ve grown and you...” He turned back around to pitifully gesture to the boy, “Well... your little power nap kept you fun sized.” He quietly left, “Look, I’m sorry, just... We’re not really what I’d call friends, and the ones I got are on my mind right now.”

Ven’s entire posture dropped. His mouth slightly agape, shoulders so low they hid in his jacket, knees shaking and buckling. They weren’t... They weren’t friends... He almost fell over, but Sora caught him.

“Woah, hey, bit of an extreme reaction there!” He must’ve been trying to joke, but it hurt more than anything.

Aqua to the rescue, “Ven? Ventus, look at me.” Ven felt her hand guiding his chin to her. She looked nary a day older than they were, except for the dark circles under her eyes and her now more uneven haircut that gave some sort of subtle weight to her. But it was easy enough to see her and imagine it never happened and they were fine-

“Ven I know things have changed- changed a lot -but look you’re gonna be okay-”

Ventus began shaking his head, tears in his eyes. Why did she have to say things changed? “A-Aqua-”

“Ven, I know it’s different,” she brushed some of his hair out of his cheek, smiling encouragingly and with hopeful, relieved tears in her eyes, “but we’re alive. We’re together and we just gotta find Terra-”

“Terra?” Ventus gasped, “W-what about Terra isn’t he here-”

“Terra, actually, is in a very weird situation.”

Ventus turned to the silver haired young man who just walked in. He and Sora shared a fistbump, and he continued, “His situation is... complicated.” He then added a completely different subject, “By the way, I’m Riku, you obviously know Aqua and Sora, and judging by their looks you know Donald, Goofy, and Yen Sid as well. Miss loudmouth Keyblade Master in training is Kairi, if you didn’t know and Lea just walked out so I guess you met him-”

“B-but... he’s alive, right? Terra?” Ventus asked, hung up. Complicated, what did complicated even mean?

Riku’s eyes looked dreary and tired. “I... can’t really say.”

Ventus clutched Aqua and Sora’s shoulders as his knees gave out completely. They shouted a bit in protest, then tried to get Ven back online. The poor boy suddenly started screaming. Everyone started crowding him, trying to get a say in how to handle the breakdown, but eventually Sora decided the closet nearby was the best place for Ven to be. Small, private. 

Sora guided him in, and quietly sat him down in the center. He’d stood in here a few times before, starting his second journey, and he knew that this place was secluded enough to be easily turned into a sanctuary for the poor kid. Sora then patted Ven’s shoulder, and asked what Ven needed.

“Alone,” Ventus croaked, “I wanna... I wanna be alone....”

“Alright...” Sora reluctantly complied.

The door opened. Closed.

And that’s when Ventus discovered the mirrors.


	2. Chapter 2

For Ventus, the day was quiet. Xehanort’s threat loomed over the courtyard of the Mysterious Tower as it had been these past several days. To be honest it seemed less like “the world could end any day now” and more like a particularly annoying problem, like dirt in your shoe. The gravity of the situation was making him numb with denial.

“Xehanort this… Xehanort that.” Ven muttered. He fiddled with a blade of grass in his hand, “I just wanted to see Terra and Aqua again…” Of course, only Aqua greeted his waking. His joy was cruelly ripped from him without a single word from Aqua explaining why Terra was gone. Just that he was gone and no one knew where he was.

Of course, there was condolences from another young man present for the event. Ventus began whistling with the grass as he mulled over Sora. Such a precious child- well, teenager. He was kind enough to take a dying heart like his in with only the satisfaction of his pain being eased. For more than ten years he had bore the burden of Ven’s broken heart with no objection or complaint. Precious.

“Hey Ven, what’s the tune?”

Ventus opened his eyes and saw Sora grinning at him. He broke up the shred of green in his hands, “Just some improv.”

Sora resumed walking by, “It was nice.” He summoned his Keyblade with a daring, cheeky grin, “But I didn’t come out here for that.”

Ventus looked at Sora with a confused smirk for a moment before tilting his head, “What’s up?”

“I wanna spar with you!” Sora said, “I wanna see how good I am! Can I really stand toe to toe with an old maste-”

“I never achieved mastery-” Ventus laughed before Sora silenced him.

“Now be quiet! You’re definitely master material!”

Ventus rolled his eyes. He stood and stretched, and indulged in Sora’s squeamish expression when he used the excess cartilage between his bones to his advantage. “It’s just how I am.” He smugly remarked.

Sora shuddered, “How you are is a little weird. People shouldn’t stretch like that.”

Ventus rolled his shoulders and summoned his Keyblade, “As I said, just how I am, wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Sora grinned wide when he realized Ven was accepting his challenge. Ventus swung his Keyblade around on his wrist before grabbing it and leaping into a strike. Sora parried it with a small “ole!”, as of he was some sort of bullfighter.

“I’m just getting started!” Ventus chuckled.

Sora bowed with a flourish, “I know, I’m already beating y-” He had to bring up his Keyblade before he could finish. He smirked at the crossed blades, then dug in deeper to try and get the upper hand. Ventus shook his head and rolled away. While Sora stumbled Ventus kicked out and let him trip on his leg.

Sora ate dirt. He rolled over to narrowly avoid Ventus mockingly driving his Keyblade into the ground next to his head. He gave another quirked smile of his as Ventus leaned over him with a warm grin of triumph. “You’re pretty good.” Sora admitted.

“You’re reckless.” Ventus told him, “It’s not that hard to beat someone who doesn’t think things throu- OOOAH!” Sora had struck down Ven’s makeshift crutch, and the boy toppled.

Sora stood and brushed himself off with a smug smile, “I’m also unpredictable, and I don’t like giving up that easy.”

Ventus rolled onto his back and sprung up to his hand and then his feet. Probably with a lot of unnecessary flips and twirls. He held up his Keyblade, “Well, how about again?”

Sora backed up and waved his Keyblade in the air, “Let’s make things interesting, eh?” Ventus charged at him to try and interrupt him, but Sora dodged again and held his Keyblade to the sky as magic crackled and smoked at its tip.

Ventus suddenly stumbled. His eyes became cloaked in flickering darkness, and he could see nothing but shadows that danced with fleeting glimpses of light. Ven’s muscles tensed and pulled him into rigid fear. Falling, he was almost falling, falling, falling away into the darkness.

“Are you okay, Ventus?” Sora laughed.

Ventus felt his blood freeze, and he slowly turned around. There he was. There was that demon, the broken, twisted half of him. Vanitas laughed at him, “You gonna fight or what?”

Ventus scowled, and Sora watched him with unease, “Too far?”

Ventus didn’t respond, only continuing to glare at him with eyes that were suddenly absent of light, mirth, happiness. They were cold ice devoid of a soul, of what made Ventus who he was. Sora backed up and held out his Keyblade with a hesitant challenge, “Well… Come on then! Fight me!”

Ventus screamed a war cry and charged. Sora tried dodging again, except this time Ventus grabbed him by his jacket and hurled him to the ground. He held up his hands, “Woah! You’re suddenly a fighter!”

He clammed up and held his Keyblade when Ventus began a whirling, unrelenting combo punctuated with yells that could only be defined as pain and anger. Sora finally scrambled away, standing up and holding his hands up in peace, “You can give up now!”

This was met with a Keyblade to his gut. A pretty deep strike, actually. Deep enough for blood to start turning his tank top purple. Sora clutched the wound and yelled, “Ven?! what’s your problem?!”

Sora looked into those cold blue eyes, and finally realized something had snapped in Ventus.

He tried calling for help, but silenced as Ventus abandoned his Keyblade and began dealing with this threat with his bare hands. He pressed against Sora’s windpipe, keeping him pinned to the wall of Yen Sid’s tower while his legs scrambled for solid ground. Sora kicked Ven off of him and fell to his knees coughing.

“V-Ven!” He wheezed, “It’s me! It’s Sor-”

Ventus knocked Sora over and began punching him in a crazed fit. He finally began talking, but the words were frantic, enraged, and definitely caught in a permanent “fight” mode instead of reason, “SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! YOU SHOULDN’T BE HAUNTING ME LIKE THIS!” He held up his hands, and glowing blades appeared. Tears of frustration and disbelief joined his grievous yelling, “I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU VANITAS!”

Sora screamed for help, deciding Ventus had completely lost it, “Hey! H-HEY! HELP! GUYS?!”

“You’re not getting help where you’re going.” Ventus hissed.

He raised the glowing blades to extinguish the life beneath him, except Aqua burst out from the tower, “Ventus?! VENTUS!”

Ventus flinched and faltered just long enough for Kairi- hot on Aqua’s tail -to drag Sora away from him and patch the poor boy up. Ventus lurched towards Sora with wordless outrage, but Aqua grabbed him and held him back, “Ven! Ventus calm down!” Terrified, Aqua didn’t know what to say besides, “Ventus think about what you’re doing!”

That was what got through. Ventus stopped squirming, and his rage sank into hollow despair. Everything about him collapsed and folded on itself. He shakily grabbed Aqua and clung to her, an anchor in the swirling sea of feelings he didn’t know he could have and didn’t know why he felt. Aqua held him back, letting him ride out the last echoes of his breakdown. “Just close your eyes,” she murmured, “you’ll be alright.”

Kairi had taken a bandage from Sora, and was dabbing up the blood from his nose and split lip with it while trying not to irritate his bruises and black eye too badly. “You look like you got hit by a train.” She whimpered.

Sora laughed with a shrug, “Well, I was asking for it-”

“I don’t think you were, Sora!” Kairi snapped at him. The urgency in her voice took away Sora’s attempts to keep everything light. He became quiet and let Kairi take care of him. It was good practice for her, anyways.

Aqua was uncertain, but she thought Ventus was stable enough to ask about what happened. She backed away slightly, keeping her hands on his shoulders. “Ven, do you know what happened?”

“Darkness.” He croaked back, “I was in the darkness again… And you were gone, and he was there-”

Sora sheepishly giggled, “Ah, I probably shouldn’t’ve cast blackout, my bad!”

Ventus whirled his head, as if he was surprised Sora was even there. He gasped. Kairi was right in remarking that Sora looked like he had been hit by a train: Sora’s throat was red and swollen; his face was molded in places like putty from taking Ven’s punches, and it still had bits of dried blood smeared across his face as if Kairi had gotten careless kissing him. His side had been cleared up, but the gash and stains on his shirt lingered and exposed a nasty scar.

Sora saw the pain and horror in Ven’s face and held up his hands, “The scar wasn’t your fault-”

“What did I do?” Ventus asked. But he knew. He knew exactly what he did.

Sensing Ven’s panic and putting the pieces together, Aqua turned him back on her, “Ven, Ventus this is completely normal-”

“Normal?!” Ventus shrieked, “NORMAL?! I WAS GOING TO KILL HIM!” Ventus began hyperventilating. He was going to legitimately kill him. He was going to kill the person who had saved him.

“Ven? Ventus look at me!” Aqua kept her voice firm, “Ventus it’s alright, you just had an emotional relapse, a-a reaction. It’s post traumatic stress, it’s perfectly normal-”

“I tried to kill him!” Ventus cried. He buckled in Aqua’s arms, “I tried to kill him!”

“Ventus, calm down.” Aqua crooned, “Ventus it’s fine, Sora’s okay.” Ven only whimpered back. A small, guilty sob that spoke more than his words could. Aqua sighed and rubbed Ven’s hair. Of course he wasn’t alright, he was having a complete mental breakdown. She looked at Sora, “You two were sparring, right?”

Sora nodded. Thankfully the healing spells kairi cast were working and he was looking a little less like death and more like the bright individual he was. “He was fine until I cast blackout.” He then tried to reach out to Ven, “Ventus, the scar isn’t something you caused. That was Saïx. It’s ages ago. You just happened to hit roughly the same spot.”

Aqua thought over the effects of the spell. So that was the darkness Ventus saw. Now ‘he’ could only have been… Vanitas. Aqua didn’t know what Vanitas looked like. She never saw his true face. She could barely stomach the memory of Ventus talking with that low and unnerving echo, with his smile twisted through golden eyes leering at her in triumph.

She quietly rubbed his head, “It’s gonna be okay, Ven.”

He nodded uncertainly in reply. “What if it happens again?” He whispered. “I-I don’t… I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to hurt people…”

Aqua sighed, “Ventus, it was a reaction. You were scared, it happens to everyone.” She held up his head, “But I think we now know what makes you act like that, so we can try and avoid it in the future, okay?”

Ventus swallowed a little. His eyes darted around. But then he nodded. He stood up taller, fussed with this clothes.

Sora took this as an invitation to walk over, despite Kairi’s intuition that it as a bad idea. He wrapped his hand around Ven’s shoulders with a laugh, “First you punch me in the face and now you try to kill me,” he seemed to be unaware of Aqua’s rapidly shaking head and Kairi’s facepalm, “you sure make things exciting, Ven!”

Ventus shoved him off and backed away. Sora’s face fell when he saw the denial in Ven’s expression, the contours of regret and self-loathing. His hands fumbled in the air, trying to say what he couldn’t speak with trembling gesture. He waved his hand at Sora with a choked “Curaga,” and he left to find sanctuary in Yen Sid’s tower. Even when walking he was as fast as the wind. Felt, fleeting, gone.

Sora was about to pursue him when Aqua held up her hand. She glared at him, mild but enough to make Sora fall back like a guilty puppy. “Sora,” she began, “I appreciate you wanting to remedy this situation, but it needs more tact than you could provide right now.”

Sora folded his arms in front of him, “I’m trying as hard as I can-”

Aqua shook her head, “Sora, what happened to Ven has left a lot of scars, okay?”

Kairi agreed, “Reminding him what happened isn’t a good way to go about it-”

“Well, it happened.” Sora protested, “He can’t just say it didn’t.”

Kairi groaned, “Sora, acceptance doesn’t just come that naturally for something like that-”

“Well I think it should be the first step-”

“Sora, he was trying to kill you-”

“I know, and he does too-”

“Give him room to breathe you dummy-!”

Aqua cut in, “That’s enough.” The two neophyte Keyblade wielders yielded to the master, and became quiet. Aqua looked at the tower. She said, “Your concern is really appreciated, but I doubt either of you really have any idea to deal with my old friend. You weren’t there when any of it happened.”

“I had his heart all this time!” Sora huffed, “Shouldn’t I be able to help-”

“At a later time.” Aqua told him, “Right now you’re not gonna help. All you’re gonna do is make him even more regretful.” She nodded in respect, “I will let you know if he feels like talking to either of you, but right now I think I need to step in and calm him down.”

And with those words Aqua left. She climbed up the stairs, went past the empty rooms and dorms. She found Ventus staring at a mirror in Yen Sid’s rather spacious closet. Normally these mirrors were covered, but Ventus had pulled off the dusty canvas and was staring at his reflection with tears.

Aqua sat next to him, but before she could say anything she found herself fixated with her own reflection. This Aqua was… Different. Something had yielded in her nature, something felt terribly… dark. Blood was on her hands, in the corners of her golden eyes and slowly leaking out. She had a twisted grin that seemed to be reveling in the paint she caused, but underneath it was some sort of suffering of her own.

“These mirrors are magic.” Ventus murmured, his voice agonizingly soft and barely croaking, “They show what you truly are.”

Aqua stood up and decided to see her reflection elsewhere to see if this wasn’t some trick. One mirror showed her lifting Terra and Ventus with ease. Another had her casting spells even she had no name for. Two showed her beaming as a proud Keyblade Master, but one had her emanating a mighty aura of light and a greater sense of experience.

Aqua found herself in one. Her old self. Before the catastrophes, before the heartbreak, before the loss. Eighteen and nary a day older, gray tinted eyes still warm, posture not as stooped. Her armor was bright, polished, gleaming. A knight, really. A paragon. Aqua’s hand trailed on the mirror like the tears on her cheeks, her better self complying and doing the same with a confused smile. “What’s wrong?” She seemed to ask in that ironically unknowing grin, “Life is so great, why are you sad?! We’re a Master now! Our dream has come true!”

Aqua finally pulled away and stared at the barren and simple floor. Without looking back into any of the mirrors she covered every single one up. Yet she couldn’t cover up her old self. The cloth dropped from her fingers and she found herself mesmerized by the past. By a future that never was.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ventus again, and the spell finally broke.

She turned around and sat next to him once more, hugging him while ignoring her demonic self. With a tired and wistful hint of whimsy in her voice, she answered Ven: “I think these mirrors lie.”

He didn’t reply. Aqua rested her head on his while rubbing his shoulder as endless as her time in the Realm of Darkness had seemed. She let him soak in the silence while letting it ring in her own ears. She quietly began wiping up the tear tracks on his cheeks with her drapes, adjusting the armor on his shoulder. She fussed with his hair, remarking, “You have dandruff. It’ snot showing that I bet.”

“Not like I could shower.” Ven bitterly laughed in reply. He fell back into silence shortly after.

Aqua asked, “What do you see, Ven?”

“I see me…” He answered, trailing off to signal only partial truth.

“Ventus, please, give me a straight answer. I want to help.” Aqua pleaded.

Ventus touched his hand against the mirror, his head bent awkwardly in avoidance, yet still centered on the image only he could see. “I see me… I see him… My darkness.” He stated it with such a tired simplicity, “I see Vanitas.”

He knew Aqua didn’t see him, touching the silver and glass between them. Slumped with gloating, grinning with mockery, oozing the triumph in seeing someone he hated suffer. He knew Aqua couldn’t see the raven spikes that held a twin just downstairs, the same snub of nose, the same barely squinted eyes. Those eyes squinted from glowering and psychotic laughter instead of genuine smiles, though.

“Can you tell me what he looks like?” Aqua asked.

Ventus bit down on his lips. He didn’t want to describe him. “He… He has the mask on. I never saw his face.” Ven hated lying, but if in this case it didn’t hurt Aqua as much as the truth, he considered it the best option.

Aqua knew he was lying, but she felt that if he really wanted to tell her he would’ve done so. He’d open up with time. The master had always said that time healed all wounds and this was no different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh, I actually wrote this one first! The first chapter I just finished today for the end of Ventus Week and I realized that they fit together pretty well so here they are!


End file.
